If you were not aware, the new hair wave with black women is the desire and the act of going natural. Including myself. Since going natural, the way i’ve been treated and my interaction with the other gender has changed drastically. I won’t say whether good or bad. I will say that there has been a change overall in every aspect of my life….

So the question I pose is this: How do men really feel about women and their hair? The ‘Natural’ thing? Weaves? Relaxer? Braids? etc etc… Or does a real man even really care? I’m not sure if this is a topic you all have touched on already, but I am anxious to hear your thoughts.

There are two ways to answer this question, and because I’m feeling particularly magnanimous today, I’ve decided to share both.

The easy, Black Blog Tea Party appeasing answer: Stop trippin, sis. Whether it came from your own scalp or Shamika’s House of Indian Hair and Waffles, it’s your hair, and you can do whatever the hell you want to it. Don’t allow yourself to be so caught up with how men perceive you that you lose yourself in a minefield of archaic heteronormative expectation. Plus, real men, manly men, don’t give a damn about your hair, and those who do are just weak-minded and insecure agents for the on-going feminization of male culture. You think Malcolm gave a damn whether Betty wanted to rock cornrows? You think Barack would have stopped sweating Michelle if he happened to see a couple tracks?

The VerySmart answer: Hair matters, and men care about women’s hair. Generally speaking, men like “nice” hair, and nice could mean natural, weaves, relaxers, braids, or even baldys. But, how each man defines “nice” is determined by each individual man, and each of us have our own particular hair-related likes and dislikes. (Personally, I tend to be drawn to women with “safe” and relatively low-maintenance hairstyles, and I’m usually not a big fan of a ton of hair)

And while there is no “right” or wrong “hairstyle”, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say there might possibly be a right or wrong hairstyle to attract the type of man you’re interested in. As stated in “How Your Look Affects Your Luck”, we’re usually attracted to certain “types” of women, and way a woman wears her hair makes a difference in how she’s initially regarded because many of us associate certain do’s with certain personalities.

Why Some Women Seem To Have All Luck In DatingLinks to an external site.

Things Men Say When We’re Just Running Dating GameLinks to an external site.

Game That Guys Run Even When We Don’t Know ItLinks to an external site.

Game That Women Run Without Even Knowing ItLinks to an external site.

Essential Dating Questions to Spot Red FlagsLinks to an external site.

The Woman Shortage In ChinaLinks to an external site.

Black Women Are Always The Victim…Right?Links to an external site.

Questions Men Need to Ask Before CommittingLinks to an external site.

Also, from a purely aesthetic viewpoint, some head shapes and facial structures just don’t go with certain hairstyles, and I’ve seen women make the mistake of assuming that a guy wasn’t into a particular hairstyle when the truth was that he just wasn’t into that particular hairstyle on her. This is true for men and women though. For instance, I’d never shave my head because I just don’t have the head shape to rock a baldy without perpetual ridicule, and I’d look distinctly different (and quite rhesus monkey-ish) without my beard and mustache as well.

When beginning to date, is it better to let a dude know that he is in competition with others or make him think he is the only one (without lying, of course)?

This is tricky. You probably don’t want to just come out and say “You know, I just found out last night that there really is room for two in the men’s stalls at The Cheesecake Factory” in mid-date discussion, but you also don’t want to give him the impression that he’s the damn fool on the date with the chick nobody wants.

The best way to handle this is to let him think you might have other suitors without actually saying it or even implying it. Don’t bring it up, but if he asks about your Saturday plans and you already have a date with another man that Saturday, just tell him you’re “busy”. If he presses, remind him he’s new and that your business is none of his.

CHAMP had sex with a guy, not thinking much of it, but now I WANT MORE AND MORE. . Is there any chance of a relationship AND THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WITH A BLACK MAN I AM WHITE FEMALE.I REALLY LIKE HIM ALOT, BUT I FEEL I AM COMEN ON TO STRONG .

If this email is any indication of how strong you might be coming on, even the zombies in 28 Days Later would tell you to slow down a bit.

I’m tired of meeting a guy, giving him my number, and he text messages me. No phone calls just texts! Or if we have a great first date and then all he does is text message me after that. What’s up with that?

If you would have asked this question a couple years ago, I probably would have said something about how this lack of social decorum is a sign that he’s either too immature to be taken seriously and/or that he obviously doesn’t respect or value you enough to continue dating him.

Although this still might be true, I’ve come to realize that the text message has completely overtaken the telephone as the main form of communication for many people. And, while I do think it’s a bit odd to text a woman you’ve just met instead of calling her, the vast majority of these people text out of habit and convenience, not rudeness or disinterest. What long-term effect this will have on our culture remains to be seen, but if it’s really an issue for you, send him one reply stating that you’d prefer to actually hear his voice instead of the new text message alert. If he still refuses to call, then, well, you have your answer.

Champ when my girl catches the big one, she starts crying which totally freaks me out and turns me off. What should I do? Should I hold back?

Take your girl to church this Sunday. While you’re there, steal a Bible. After you get back home, take the Bible in the bedroom by yourself, and get down on your knees to thank God for placing this woman in your life. Repeat this process everyday for the next 35 years (give or take a decade or so)

If this doesn’t work, send two high-definition pictures of your girl and her email address so I can auction off her contact info. I’m thinking about buying a new car, and the money I’ll make from this should probably cover the down payment.